How to Get Over the Fear of Intimacy, Heartbreak, & Dating Disappointment
Do you know how to get a man to want to commit to you?
These five relationship rules will help you learn how to create that "you're the only woman I want" feeling in your relationship.
While that initial spark is all it takes for a man to ask you out and desire you sexually, there must be something more for him to want to commit to you. Why does anyone commit to anything? There needs to be a sense of value and and sense of urgency. He must feel compelled to CLAIM you in as his own. Wouldn't it be better if you could inspire that feeling in him so that he is the one asking you for a commitment? You can. You only if you follow these steps:
There are a few themes that keep coming up over and over again from my clients.Now that the solution to these patterns, I wanted to share the startling realization that the patterns reflect: fear of intimacy in your own heart...
...and how you can put this life-altering information to immediate use in your own love life.
First and foremost, I'm seeing women stating the following:
"Amanda, I'm starting to lose hope that I'll ever find a man who will commit to me for the rest of my life. I'm afraid that I'll be on my own. Currently, there seems to be nothing that I can do to alter the situation. Half of my friends are divorcing, so it seems like there weren’t any good ones to begin with."
Every one of these concerns and anxieties is something that most women experience at some point in their search to build a lasting relationship.
And all of these sentiments are a part of a larger negative thought pattern - our neurobiological tendency to weigh danger and bad experiences as more important than the positive.
Insidious, harmful feelings can swiftly overpower, frustrate, or even frighten us, so we need to be aware of them at all times. Furthermore, the longer we don't get answers to these questions, the worse we feel about ourselves, which in turn has an effect on how we behave in the future. In most cases, it plays a big role in how we decide to find love.
That's when things begin to go awry.
Our quest for love turns into a downward spiral of anxiety and terror from which we can never recover and from which we must suffer horribly.As a result, we experience what I refer to as the "Unholy Trinity of the three Ds" — disappointment, disgust, and dispassion, a set of negative emotions that prevent us from becoming the beautiful, captivating, irresistible women we were meant to be.
Disappointment
No matter how hard we try, no matter how open and receptive we are to love, our failures make us feel that we'll never meet "Mr. Right"... only one man who can fulfill us and make us feel loved for the rest of our lives.
No matter how hard we try, we can't seem to find a good partner, or the man we're with isn't what we expected. He falls short of our expectations for a variety of reasons, both large and minor. He isn't paying attention to what you have to say. If he can't put two words together, then his car is constantly dirty. When it comes to his finances, his situation is dire. Whatever
It all adds up to a feeling of disappointment, frustration, and sadness in love
Disgust
The odds of finding "Mr. Right" are about as good as finding a shining needle in a dusty old haystack if we keep looking. We're appalled by our own shortcomings or the scarcity of excellent men in the world. We lose interest in the search when it drags on for an extended period of time.
It's only when a man enters our lives that our affections for him begin to deteriorate or become fatally damaged by his tiniest flaws. When he snores or delivers jokes, we're persuaded that we won't be able to survive another day without him... we're actually suffering from something far more serious.
We dislike the fact that finding the love of our lives is getting increasingly difficult.
Dispassion
When we meet men or think we already have a man in our lives who is "alright," we get this sense. "He's OK." He's a polite and competent individual. But every time we look into his eyes, we see the sad truth...
Neither okay, pleasant, nor adequate can satisfy our desires for passion and desire, let alone provide us the inspiration, deep love, and contentment we long for.
The Fear of Intimacy
What’s common in all three feelings? The fear of intimacy. The truth is if you're making these emotions "wrong" (whether intentionally or unintentionally), you're truly not being true... You can't have real intimacy if you're not being yourself!
All of these unpleasant sensations are completely unappealing to most people. There is nothing wrong with being human, after all! I think it's one of the most important aspects of our feminine power as women: the ability to fully express ourselves emotionally. Keeping things out in the open but not making them into a big deal, either.
When you're attempting to make a relationship work with a guy you're disgusted with, but you keep putting it off because he's "good enough," you're in trouble. If you don't express your disgust, it will fester inside of you and make you feel much worse than if you did.
It's as if your contempt is growing inside of you, and it's nearly taking over! Even the areas of your life where you used to be happy are now a darker shade of gray.This suggests a reluctance to be really honest with yourself.You aren't being honest with yourself about how you feel.
Intimacy, on the other hand, thrives on genuine emotional connection. When emotions and feelings are bottled up or feigned, intimacy inevitably dies.
If this describes you, I strongly advise you to begin communicating your feelings with any potential partner. In the meantime, you can learn to leave your fears of love and intimacy behind and I can show you how: Acceptance is the first step in facing the sentiments we wish we could suppress, avoid, or ignore while on the path to love.
"The one" has yet to find us, and this has left us feeling lonely. Every half-decent-looking guy that comes into our lives, we find ourselves lusting for.
"Over-functioning" happens while we're dating or in a relationship. We're on the hunt. We go to great lengths to please a man in order to keep him or make him feel as though things are going well.
It's also our hope that things will work out the way they're "meant to" if we keep failing. When they don't, we either give up or spend the rest of our days daydreaming.
Because of your concerns about love, I believe NOW is the greatest moment to take action and make a positive change in your life.Taking action is important, but not just any action will do. After all, who has the luxury of wasting their valuable time and money wandering aimlessly in search of assistance and solutions?
It's time to DO SOMETHING that will CERTAINLY change your life. With that in mind, if you're ready to put your love life on hold while you restore your self-esteem and self-confidence... If you want your words and actions to have a profound effect in connecting with your man so that he starts to worship the ground you walk on... Or if you want to create a real connection with your partner...... it's time to take the first basic step toward putting your concerns and worries about falling in love to rest forever. It's just a matter of making the decision to take action, as I already stated.
You DON'T have to be trapped in a never-ending cycle of unsatisfying romantic encounters. I promise you, this is NOT your fate.To achieve the relationship of your dreams, all it takes is a few basic shifts and a few little actions (that become easier as time goes on!).Change is just around the corner. I can feel it!
Hey love, let’s stay together…
You don’t have to go through difficulty alone. You are never alone. If you need more help beyond what the free blog can provide for you, I’m here for you. My researched blogs will always be free because I want to help as many women as possible Raise the Bar, which will make the world a better, safer, and happier place for all of us.
If you’re still struggling, I’d love to invite you to get the book by clicking here. The book is great for “Do-It-Youself-ers” and Reading & Writing Learners. There are incredible, scientifically backed writing exercises in there that can transform your life if you practice them.
Finally, if you want to supercharge your relationship at lightening speed, I have two options for you: join the waitlist for the video course and or request a place to work one-on-one with me in person or online. The video course will be great for Auditory & Visual Learners or people who just want more detail on exact relationship methodologies and how to apply them in every day life. The one-on-one fun work we do together is absolutely wild and life-changing. It’s literally a hold-your-hand method for Kinesthetic Learner and people who don’t want to waste a single second more of turning their wheels and try to figure it out themselves.
Whatever you choose, know in your heart that I am here to support you on this journey. I know exactly what it feels like to be at your ropes end, totally confused. So whether I can support you through free blog posts or paid in-depth help, know that I consider it an honor and privilege to serve you.
