What Are the Signs He’s Playing You? How to Find Out & Reign Him Back
Some men can be EXPERT manipulators.
If you've ever been in a scenario with a guy and felt that he wasn't being completely honest with you, here's what it might look like: He's all over you one week, then disappears from your life the following. Also known as a Hot & Cold Man.
I’ve been considered by my theater peers an excellent actor, and I’ve still been fooled by these men’s acting skills.
Perhaps you've had an experience of awe-inspiring cosmic sex with a guy you're deeply attracted to. On the other hand, there are instances when you go days or weeks without hearing from him at all. He confides in you like he doesn't with anybody else, which could indicate that you two have an emotional connection. When he talks to you, he makes you feel important and unique, and he even shares his hopes for the future...
Then there are the moments when he's aloof, distant, and even dismissive of your presence. On a Saturday night, he just happens to be "busy." He frequently checks his phone when he's out with you to dinner.
You can't stand him because he's both hot and cold at once. And to top it all off, you're baffled!
Many of us have found ourselves in situations when we wish we could "go away" from the current scenario in order to clear our heads, but we can't stop loving our partner or even think of falling in love with someone else.
I’ve been here. At the same time that I yearned to feel "connected" to a man, I was also desperate to get away from him. Trying to reason my way through it was a complete waste of time for me. I was completely immobilized. Watching him behaving this way, I would find a way to justify his actions even if we weren't even "together."
My heart sank to the ground when he treated me like that. When things didn't go my way, I'd try even harder to win him over. What was unfolding in front of my eyes was something I couldn't, wouldn't, or wouldn't allow myself to accept.
However, I was able to raise my self-esteem just enough to see that I had alternative possibilities after discovering what I'd been doing that was paralyzing me.
Look at things from a different perspective…
As time went on, I realized that it had nothing to do with my perceived "unworthiness" of this man or the wonderful relationship I envisioned with him.
It all stemmed from the fact that the "relationship" never existed in the first place! It was all a lie.
The man who had my heart in knots had no intention of ever having a relationship with me at all. He wasn’t even my type to begin with!
That's what I'd gotten myself into with this guy, and I believed that was what love was all about. I thought that a relationship in which I wasn't receiving loved, in which I had to work hard to get liked, was the only one.
The problem is that this sentiment is shared by a large number of women. That's what I'm assuming, too.
As a result, many of us are taught that love equals suffering or that love equals rejection without even knowing it. Women are related in nature. This is our inescapable biological wiring! Our bodies are hardwired to seek out 'connections,' even if they result in pain or rejection because that is the only way we can truly understand what it means to experience 'love.'
It's all wrong, of course.That's a masochistic and untrue form of 'love,' though. That kind of "love" is also toxic and completely unsatisfying.
I was able to take control of my situation as soon as I came to this realization. I was able to pick men based on how I felt about MYSELF in their presence, not how I felt about THEM at the time they were being considered.
Men know about other men, but hardly anything about any women…
When it comes to women, most men haven't mastered the art of relating with us. (In the same way that women must learn how to interact well with men!) Men use diverse codes, signals, and attitudes regarding sex, all of which have their own unique connotations.
There is no reason for them to ask us to fill out a questionnaire on what sex with them really means to us, even if they are decent men who don't mean any harm by doing so. They don't give it a second thought.
Next time, follow my advice and think about how you feel about having sex before you do it. If it's simply for fun, and you don't care about the consequences, you might be one of the many women who can appreciate sex in this way.
Make sure you talk about your relationship before you have sex if sex is important to you as it is to most women.
Intimacy in Relationships: What It Is & It Isn't
Physical intimacy and sex are ineffective means of advancing a relationship with a man! Because you've had sex with him, he won't fall in love with you.
If there are "no strings attached," he won't think of you as a priceless gift he can't bear to part with. He won't think twice about continuing to have sex with you and enjoying his freedom and your companionship even if you ask him to commit.
If the chemistry and attraction are right, then it's possible that the stars will align. But for the vast majority of us, having sex with a man is not a guarantee of a long-term relationship.We assume that being intimate with a man will bring them closer since that's how WE feel about being intimate with a man ourselves. Aside from that, we believe that we must attract a man with our physique and beauty to keep him interested.
Quite the contrary, HE should aim for YOU as his prize. As a result, a paradigm change is necessary. You can't keep chasing after him, trying to "get" him to want more from you with your mind, emotions, and body.
Conveying the specifics about your values and desires positions you as the prize that HE gets the opportunity to pursue.
The only way out of this situation is to make a complete 180 degree flip.
Start being honest with yourself about what you want instead of focusing on him, what he wants, or having sex with him every time he texts.
Emotional connection is, after all, what we, as women, crave the most. That's the bedrock of any long-term partnership.
Men desire the same human thing that women do, but their brains are wired differently, so they don't always know how to go about achieving their goals.
There are two pieces to the puzzle: the man who values sex and the woman that values emotional connection. This is a recipe for a wonderful relationship when they are put together!
You'll start to feel used and played in the relationship if you and your partner are only having sex.So, if you and a man were simply friends, it wouldn't be anything more than that.What's most important to you, then? With your ideal lover, how do YOU want to feel? That's the first thing you need to start focusing on.
Finally, prioritize yourself…
When you put yourself first in your dating life, you'll find that you're attracted to better-quality partners. Better men who actually care about your well-being. As soon as you understand how gross they make you feel, you'll stroll right by the guys who are just looking to have a good time.
Instead of wasting energy wondering if the guy is manipulating you, you can just walk away. Because you are no longer spending time with those jerks.There is so much more to life than being used as a sexual commodity. In addition, there are a plethora of wonderful men out there just waiting for you!
Properly honor yourself and articulate your wants in a way that men find tremendously beautiful.
I want to show you methods to RAISE your self-esteem and RAISE the bar for men.
High standards protect you from low quality experiences.
Take control of your love life by empowering yourself and expressing yourself in a way that organically changes the way guys respond to you. I can show you how. If you'd like to avoid players and instead attract men of quality, I can help. As a result, you'll wonder how you ever found yourself with crumbs and noncommittal men in the first place!
I know what it's like to offer a man everything he asks for, only to be shattered by his unwillingness to reciprocate. I'm here to reassure you that this is the last time you'll be burned in the same way. Unleash your feminine power and attract just the RIGHT sort of guys to you!
Hey love, let’s stay together…
You don’t have to go through difficulty alone. You are never alone. If you need more help beyond what the free blog can provide for you, I’m here for you. My researched blogs will always be free because I want to help as many women as possible Raise the Bar, which will make the world a better, safer, and happier place for all of us.
If you’re still struggling, I’d love to invite you to get the book by clicking here. The book is great for “Do-It-Youself-ers” and Reading & Writing Learners. There are incredible, scientifically backed writing exercises in there that can transform your life if you practice them.
Finally, if you want to supercharge your relationship at lightening speed, I have two options for you: join the waitlist for the video course and or request a place to work one-on-one with me in person or online. The video course will be great for Auditory & Visual Learners or people who just want more detail on exact relationship methodologies and how to apply them in every day life. The one-on-one fun work we do together is absolutely wild and life-changing. It’s literally a hold-your-hand method for Kinesthetic Learner and people who don’t want to waste a single second more of turning their wheels and try to figure it out themselves.
Whatever you choose, know in your heart that I am here to support you on this journey. I know exactly what it feels like to be at your ropes end, totally confused. So whether I can support you through free blog posts or paid in-depth help, know that I consider it an honor and privilege to serve you.
