How to Build the Ultimate Self-Care Routine
Why Your Self Care Routine Sucks
Bold title right? I want to get your attention so you STOP your mediocre self-care routine and START doing self-care that will actually change your life.Self-care became “all the rage” this past decade and has included everything from refusing to work past a 5pm work day to ‘treat yo’ self’ T-shirt wearing girls gangs who indulge in a weekend of shopping and cupcakes.
While it has become over commercialized and trivialized, overall I believe the movement is long overdue in our modern era where women are expected to do more work for less compensation. The Self-Care Movement forced women to begin rebuilding boundaries to protect ourselves from those that would drain us dry and then peer over our dead bodies and still say we “didn’t do enough.” However, I believe that the pendulum swung in to an unproductive trajectory when the commercialization of self-care began. In line the American consumerist, individualist culture, this new media message made us believe that that ‘self-care’ was buying things and retreating from people.And then we wonder why we still feel so tired and not enough even after buying those $5 jelly face masks or spending $80 on a massage.
The key to success with your self-care practice is two-fold
(1) You MUST find out what works for YOU. Maybe it's a long walk in the woods or going to a boxing class. Maybe it's drinking matcha or drinking coffee.(2) What gets measured, get’s managed and DONE. Tracking your self-care is only way to commit to it. And committing is the only way to receive the benefits of having the self-care routine. It is a p-r-a-c-t-i-c-e.
You are the expert on taking care of yourself
The truth is, that when it comes to self-care, there is no one shoe fits all.Some of us are extroverts and we recharge our battery from being in commit with people. Others are introverts and obtain peace from sitting alone with a good book. Some of feel at peace after a great workout. Others of us would rather gouge our own eyes out rather than sit our ass on a thin spin class seat that shaves down sit bones down to dust.
Real self-care is about finding out what PLAY is for you. Play can be defined as an activity we enjoy so much that when we do it, we lose track of time and space.Set a reminder in your phone that reads as follows: I play + have fun. You are more than welcome to copy and past it. Make sure the reminder is set to every day.
My personal self-care practice
Below is a list of my real self care practices that I can actually feel restore me.
Barefoot walk through a garden or at the beach
Cool lavender or eucalyptus towels
Long hot baths with candles
Sweaty, hot yoga class
Hot jasmine tea and journaling
A talk with a great friend
Real self-care doesn't need to cost you anything at all
Not everyone can afford to get a massage every week or buy themselves flowers and candles for a romantic bath, but your imagination is just as good. Studies repeatedly show that imagination is just as effective as the real thing. Spending five minutes to meditate and imagine self-care will relax your nervous system to get you out of fight or flight mode.
It takes time to become vulnerable to learn about someone. It requires trust, which can only be developed through time and in many contexts. He should earn the right to hear your story. What we earn, we value.
Method Practice from my Book: Curing Self-Love Practices
Wrap your arms around your own body to give yourself a big, tight, 'I-love-you, I've-got-you' hug
Every month, write a Love Letter to yourself
Lavender or Eucalyptus Spa towels over my eyes
Free Community Yoga Practice
Hey love, let’s stay together…
You don’t have to go through difficulty alone. You are never alone. If you need more help beyond what the free blog can provide for you, I’m here for you. My researched blogs will always be free because I want to help as many women as possible Raise the Bar, which will make the world a better, safer, and happier place for all of us.
If you’re still struggling, I’d love to invite you to get the book by clicking here. The book is great for “Do-It-Youself-ers” and Reading & Writing Learners. There are incredible, scientifically backed writing exercises in there that can transform your life if you practice them.
Finally, if you want to supercharge your relationship at lightening speed, I have two options for you: join the waitlist for the video course and or request a place to work one-on-one with me in person or online. The video course will be great for Auditory & Visual Learners or people who just want more detail on exact relationship methodologies and how to apply them in every day life. The one-on-one fun work we do together is absolutely wild and life-changing. It’s literally a hold-your-hand method for Kinesthetic Learner and people who don’t want to waste a single second more of turning their wheels and try to figure it out themselves.
Whatever you choose, know in your heart that I am here to support you on this journey. I know exactly what it feels like to be at your ropes end, totally confused. So whether I can support you through free blog posts or paid in-depth help, know that I consider it an honor and privilege to serve you.
