The Narrative of the Strong Successful Woman & Why It Hurts Your Relationship
What if you're a woman who has it all except for love and relationships?
You’re educated, successful, driven, beautiful, and great in bed - what’s not to love? Is it common for men to stop communicating with you after a few dates or to say they're not interested? Why are they not literally lining up outside my yard? This is the best milkshake in town!
The truth is that men are extremely attracted to successful and self-sufficient women. Smart women have no effect on men's confidence. However, the way you're interacting with him can intimidate and turn him off. It's possible that you're failing in love because of your energy, not because you're clever and have it all together.
Here are some common reasons why you may be failing with men:
1. You tend to emasculate men by “out-man-ing” them
If you're a woman who has achieved success and happiness, celebrate it! Be a manager, a boss, and a multi-tasker at the same time. On the other hand, don't try to control a man or be his boss when you're out on a date or hanging out with him at home. Your masculine energy is for securing your financial future, not for dominating your romantic partner.
You may be doing this in subtle ways. "You should do this" or "I wouldn't do that" are examples of advice he might receive from you when he tells you about a problem he's having.The way you're speaking him makes him feel like he's a kid and you're his mom. Having feelings like this isn't good for a man. Respect and admiration are more important than mothering him.
In order to communicate your desires and needs to a man, you can simply say, "I'd like that," "I don't want that," or "That would feel good to me."It's easy to lose a man's interest by downplaying our accomplishments because we believe that men are competitive and want to be better than we are at everything. That’s not true, plain and simple! You can be successful, just don’t try to compete at every turn.
2. Trying to control the direction of the relationship
Femine energy is receiving and inviting. For the majority of women, it is extremely relaxing to fall into the natural rhythm of our feminine energy. You’re in the driver’s seat for the rest of your life, take a load off and let him lead in the relationship. And remember, you can always get out of the car if you don’t like where he is taking the relationship. My mother always told me: “Mandy, men are like buses, if you don’t like where one is going, get off, there’s always another one coming.”
Because feminine energy is receiving and not giving energy, it gets to be very picky about what kind of energy it lets in! Be in your masculine and manage your life outside of your relationship with a man, including your time, money, work, and environment. Masculine energy has brought you far in your life, but it will not take you far if you want to be in a relationship with a masculine man. However, the next time you feel the urge to exert control over the course of a relationship, fight the temptation. Instead of focusing on what you don't like, focus on what you do like and what you want for yourself.
3. Doing the most
An unfortunate side effect of being a successful woman is that you can accomplish almost anything - and do it very well for that matter. Waiting for him to complete a task can feel absolutely excruciating at times. Learning to be surprised by a man and not trying to force things will help you overcome this problem. He should be able to decide where it goes from here. If you're not happy with how things are going, “get off the bus and wait for the next one to come along.”
As a woman who was born to lead, the way I was using those real, genuine strengths killed my relationships with the men I cared about.
Later, I learned how to use my masculine energy and the take-charge-energy to my advantage while at the same time relinquishing any control over a man. This was the catalyst for a dramatic shift in my life. My book has the story of how I saved my relationship in just a few weeks and changed my reality forever.
As a woman who is used to being strong on the OUTSIDE, I teach women how to literally ‘edit undo’ the damage they’ve done to themselves over the years by letting the masculine energy dominate the feminine energy to grow real strength on the INSIDE. Once you reclaim your inner feminine strength, you do less and receive more, which actually increase a man's love for you.
Hey love, let’s stay together…
You don’t have to go through difficulty alone. You are never alone. If you need more help beyond what the free blog can provide for you, I’m here for you. My researched blogs will always be free because I want to help as many women as possible Raise the Bar, which will make the world a better, safer, and happier place for all of us.
If you’re still struggling, I’d love to invite you to get the book by clicking here. The book is great for “Do-It-Youself-ers” and Reading & Writing Learners. There are incredible, scientifically backed writing exercises in there that can transform your life if you practice them.
Finally, if you want to supercharge your relationship at lightening speed, I have two options for you: join the waitlist for the video course and or request a place to work one-on-one with me in person or online. The video course will be great for Auditory & Visual Learners or people who just want more detail on exact relationship methodologies and how to apply them in every day life. The one-on-one fun work we do together is absolutely wild and life-changing. It’s literally a hold-your-hand method for Kinesthetic Learner and people who don’t want to waste a single second more of turning their wheels and try to figure it out themselves.
Whatever you choose, know in your heart that I am here to support you on this journey. I know exactly what it feels like to be at your ropes end, totally confused. So whether I can support you through free blog posts or paid in-depth help, know that I consider it an honor and privilege to serve you.
