I'm Amanda Leon, a neuroscience-trained founder and author. I wrote one of the books on this list, so it's last, and you can weigh it accordingly.
The short answer: the best books on the science of falling in love are Helen Fisher's Why We Love and Anatomy of Love, A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon, Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, and Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin. Each one explains a different part of the science: brain chemistry, attachment, or how couples bond and repair.
The list
Why We Love, by Helen Fisher (2004). The brain-imaging research behind romantic love, written for general readers by the scientist who led it. Start here if you want to know what love does to dopamine and the reward system.
Anatomy of Love, by Helen Fisher (1992, revised 2016). The evolutionary story of attraction, marriage, and divorce, updated with brain research.
A General Theory of Love, by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon (2000). Three psychiatrists explain how the emotional brain shapes our need for each other. Lyrical and still widely read.
Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (2010). Adult attachment theory made practical: anxious, avoidant, and secure styles, and how they play out in dating.
Hold Me Tight, by Sue Johnson (2008). Psychologist Sue Johnson, a co-developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy, on why couples fight and how they reconnect.
Wired for Love, by Stan Tatkin (2011). A couples therapist uses neuroscience and attachment to explain how partners can keep each other feeling safe.
The Female Brain, by Louann Brizendine (2006). A neuropsychiatrist on how hormones shape women's brains across life. I cite it in my own book.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman and Nan Silver (1999). Lessons from decades of observing real couples in Gottman's research lab.
Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel (2006). Why desire fades in long relationships, and what keeps it alive.
How to Make Him Chase You, by Amanda Leon (2023). My book. It applies the neuroscience of attraction to women who want a man to pursue them, whether they're dating, in a relationship, or married, and cites 56 research sources. More about the book.
How to choose
For the brain science: Fisher's two books.
For understanding your patterns: Attached.
For a relationship you want to save: Hold Me Tight or Gottman.
For desire in a long relationship: Mating in Captivity.
For a practical plan to be pursued: How to Make Him Chase You.
FAQ
What is the best book on the science of love?
For the neuroscience itself, Helen Fisher's Why We Love. For applying attachment science to dating, Attached.
Is there a book on the neuroscience of attraction for women?
Yes. How to Make Him Chase You (2023) by neuroscience-trained author Amanda Leon applies the research to women's dating and relationships.
Where can I read more about the research?
Start with the science of attraction, which summarizes the studies behind my book.
